Crucible

I had the pleasure of hearing Kathryn Stockett, the author of The Help, speak last Thursday at a fundraiser for Casa Misericordia, a domestic violence shelter here in Laredo.

Yesterday, I kept reflecting on some of the author's personal life experiences she shared. Pain and suffering will always enter our souls.  Sometimes it will be our suffering alone, but sometimes the shared suffering of others. The suffering of loss and separation, especially death.

In some, those wounds produce a work of value and grace. And in some they simply fester and breed resentment.

We may not all have a novel in us, but our suffering will produce some great work in us if we will embrace the challenges of charity, mercy, grace, and forgiveness and set aside self-pity, indifference, hatred, and prejudice.

My Father's Secrets

I have some secrets. Things I know that I have no right to share that I learned by accident, or were told to me in confidence.

I have some secrets.Things I have done that perhaps one or two people know, but have been committed to God's forgiveness through confession.

I have some secrets. Things I think about, hope for, lust for, hate, dislike, but have never shared. Some I will not share so that I may not injure others, some I will not share because I am afraid.

"give...and your Father who sees in secret with reward you." Matthew 6:4
"pray...and your Father who sees in secret with reward you." Matthew 6:6
"fast...and your Father who sees in secret with reward you." Matthew 6:18

Father, help me Give, Pray, Fast - in secret.

Grumpy......Grieving

I've been grumpy ever since Easter. Little things that normally don't bother me are extremely irritating. I want to snap, lash out, and let someone have it.

I thought to myself "I'm just tired, I've been putting in lots of hours. Anne and I have both been practically living in at our jobs, and falling into bed exhausted, up early and at it again for days. There are lots of little things that need to be fixed around the house, the car, and I had to file an extension on my taxes. That's what this is."

But then I got a message from a friend whose husband died a few weeks before Easter and sorrow and grief welled up inside and I choked up. And then I knew. I was tired of loss. Big losses and small losses, and almost no time to say goodbye, to really reflect, to hash them out with God.

There was a time when we valued a year of mourning. People wore black for several months, sometimes a year, so that others would know, and they would have a reminder.

So, for the last several mornings, I've been telling God who I miss, what I miss, and asking for grace to live with loss, and to live in hope that we will someday be re-united with those we love.

Colossians 1:15  The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. ¹⁶ For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. ¹⁷ He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. ¹⁸ And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. ¹⁹ For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, ²⁰ and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Hunger

Christ Church Youth just finished doing the 30 Hour Famine this Sunday after Easter. Anne and I participated, didn't eat, and slept in the parish hall with the kids. (I am getting a bit old for sleeping on the floor!) But it was a thought provoking event for the kids and for the adults.

In some ways I wish we had done it as a parish event, not just a youth event. After all, many of us can give up food for 30 hours, and seek to set aside or to get money to help feed the truly hungry. And most of us become much more compassionate when we have felt the initial stage of hunger.

In 1971 I remember feeling overwhelmed the first time I went to the grocery store after living in Guatemala for 5 years. There was so much stuff. And people threw jars and bottles and cans away! I was shocked by choice and consumption.  I thought about how so many poor people I knew in Guatemala would have been able to re-use all that trash and how sad it was that we just threw it away.

Gandhi said, "Live simply, so others can simply live." Yet how simply? I know that Americans, self included, consume disproportionate amounts of the worlds goods. Yet, if we were to completely stop, what happens to the people who produce the goods we consume? There is some truth to trickle down economics.

I am no longer shocked by conspicuous consumption, but when I find plastic trash out in wild places, or snokeling, or walking along the beach I am saddened.  I am thankful for technology, and yet I wish that as a species we were more thoughtful about the long term effects of our actions. I wish that we could think generations ahead, not just a few years ahead.

Of course to each his own consumption. Some people would be shocked by the number of books I have. (There is no such thing as too many!) Others might be shocked that by the sheer amount of electric power Anne and I consume to cool a house that we are not in for at least 12 hours a day.

Ultimately there are no simple, easy answers. But it would do us all good to reflect on what we need versus what we want.  Jesus reminded us to store up treasures in heaven, and not to be overly greedy for this world's goods. It seems to me that he and a great many other wise people have thought the same. Perhaps they know something I need to learn.

48 days and counting

Easter Sunday is over. But the season lasts for 50 days.  Jesus apparently kept showing up for the next 40 days, usually unexpectedly. And then at the end of those 40 days, he tells the disciples to gather and pray. So for the next ten days they gather daily and pray. And suddenly on the 10th day, the Holy Spirit descends.  So if you wonder where that custom of a novena comes from, you can stop wondering!

So what comes next. Next is being the church. Praying, loving, working, sharing, caring. And expecting God to do things in our lives and the lives of those we love.

So, time to get up and enjoy these next 50 days. Consider praying at a regular time for 10 days, starting on June 2, 2011 until June 12, 2011, and see if God does something new in your life.

Of course you could start praying now and see what happens if you pray for 48 days!

Pearls

In a drawer in a safe at Christ Church are several pearls. They are part of an old necklace that belonged to a maiden parishioner whose belongings were willed to the church when she passed away more than 20 years ago.

They're not in great shape, nor particularly valuable as jewelry. But they represent someone who was deeply loved by many of that church.

Jesus speaks of God's kingdom by talking about a merchant on a journey who finds a pearl of great value. He sells all he has and returns to buy that one pearl.

The events of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter are God's way of showing us that the valuable pearl is us. The merchant is God's Son. He "sells" all he has to acquire us.

Like those pearls in the drawer, we may not seem particularly beautiful or valuable. But to God we are people of infinite value and worth.

The Father raised Jesus from the grave to show that his offer of eternal life, of everlasting companionship with God and one another is what God most longs for.

And deep inside if we will allow ourselves to set aside our fears that this can't possibly be true; if we remove our cynical shell that keeps us from ever really giving ourselves deeply to Christ; if we move past the fear of possible hurt and grief - we will find that we are the pearl so valuable to God, and that God is the pearl we tried to find in other activities and pleasures that never quite satisfied us.

Jesus knew his life would end and he made it count. May we know that our lives will end and make them count.


"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."
Jim Elliot

Hell

"Suffered under Pontius Pilate,Was crucified, dead, and buried:He descended into hell;

What lies in hell that Jesus would go there?